There is no official clock on dating after a mission. What there is, for anyone coming home to Provo, is a set of structures that shape the year: a young single adult ward assigned by your address, a "My Plan" that you wrote in your last weeks in the field and that your bishop has a copy of, an institute class for people your age, and a city where a lot of other people are in exactly the same season. This guide takes the returned-missionary year in order, with what the Church teaches and what Provo offers at each step, and without the folklore.
If you are still sorting out housing, registration and your bank account, start with our post-mission guide to returning to Provo and BYU. For the dating culture here in general, read dating in Provo. This page is about the specific year after you come home.
Who is coming home, and when
According to the Church, men serve 24-month missions and women serve 18 months. Men have been able to begin at 18 since the change announced at general conference in October 2012, when the women's minimum dropped to 19. On November 21, 2025, the First Presidency announced that young women may now begin at 18, after completing high school or its equivalent.
The arithmetic: someone who leaves at 18 comes home at about 19 and a half or 20. For many, coming home also means starting or restarting school, finding work and readjusting to life outside a missionary schedule, all at once. Dating is one of several things being relearned at once, which is a reason to be patient with yourself and with the person across the table.
The first weeks: your plan, your ward, your mentor
The plan you already made
In the last few weeks of a mission, missionaries take an online course called My Plan. The Church's mentor guide says the plan includes "developing a one-year vision for their future" and "setting goals and making plans for how they will develop spiritually, serve others, gain an education, secure employment, and date and prepare for temple marriage." A copy goes to the mission president, the home stake president and the home bishop.
That last part is worth knowing. Your bishop has already seen what you hoped to do this year. If dating is on that list and you want help (or want to say that it is not your priority yet), you are not starting the conversation from zero.
The mentor
The same guide describes a mentor assigned to help a recently returned missionary make the transition, meeting as needed and staying in touch by text, phone or social media. The guide is explicit that the relationship is meant to stay equal: the mentor is "a guide, not a called leader." The topics the mentor guide suggests include dating to find a spouse, but the guide also says to concentrate on whatever is most relevant to you. If you have a good mentor, it is a low-pressure place to talk about how dating is going.
The ward
Your ward is determined by your address. Under the Church's age ranges since 2024, single members 18 to 35 are young single adults. In places with many young single adults, the Church lets leaders create separate wards for 18 to 25 and 26 to 35, and Provo and Orem have them. A 20-year-old returned missionary living in Provo is likely to be in an 18-to-25 YSA ward. Our YSA ward guide covers the first Sunday, family home evening groups and how callings work.
You may also choose your family ward instead.
Institute
Institute classes are open to 18 to 35 and, under the 2024 changes, divided into 18 to 25 and 26 to 35 where enrollment allows. For UVU students and anyone else in north Provo and Orem, our UVU institute guide covers how it works. It is also, practically speaking, one of the easiest places to meet people who share your standards without the pressure of a formal date.
What the Church teaches, in its own words
The Church's 2025 Topics and Questions entry on dating is short and worth reading in full. A few lines that apply directly to the post-mission year:
- Dating "can help people develop friendships and eventually find an eternal companion."
- "Wholesome group activities" are a good way to get to know people.
- When relationships become more serious, it helps to "carefully consider the qualities and attributes they would like to have in a future spouse," such as someone "who loves the Lord and who is honest, kind, patient, hardworking, selfless, and humble and who shares a similar testimony."
- "No one is perfect. Couples should expect to learn and grow with each other."
- As relationships deepen, both partners "can benefit from learning whether their long-term goals align."
- Dating "can create opportunities to try new things, have fun, and better appreciate other people. At times, it can also be a long and difficult process."
Notice what the entry does not do: set a timeline, prescribe a number of dates, or define success as an engagement by a certain month. It says success "is achieved as individuals learn and grow, exercise faith and trust in the Lord, and become more like Jesus Christ."
Dating in practice in Provo
Start with groups if it helps. It is the Church's own suggestion, and Provo makes it easy: your ward's family home evening group, ward activities and institute all put you in a room with people your age every week.
Plan inexpensive dates. A student budget does not have to limit you. Our date night guide for Utah Valley has plenty that cost little.
Know the BYU expectations if you are a student. BYU students agree to its Honor Code. Our Honor Code explainer covers what it says and how it is applied.
Be honest about where you are. Some people come home ready to date seriously; others want to settle into school first. Both are consistent with the Church's guidance, and saying which one you are early saves a lot of confusion.
Use the people already around you. Your bishop, your mentor and your ward leaders are there for this. So are friends from your mission who are home too.
If you came home early
Missionaries come home earlier than planned for many reasons: physical or mental health, or other circumstances. The Church's counseling resource for leaders acknowledges that they may feel disappointed, embarrassed or discouraged, and asks families, friends, leaders and ward members to call them a "returned missionary" and not an "early-returned" or "early-released" missionary, to reduce stigma. It encourages leaders to help them get prompt care for any health condition and to help them feel welcomed back.
None of that changes your ward, your eligibility for activities or how you date. If you are dealing with a health issue, treatment comes first, and our post-mission guide covers the support offices you can formally ask for help.
When it gets serious
When a relationship moves toward marriage, the practical questions arrive quickly:
- The license. Utah County issues marriage licenses through the county clerk; our marriage license guide covers how it works.
- The ring. Our engagement rings guide covers local jewelers.
- The wedding day. If you plan a temple sealing, our temple wedding guide for guests explains what out-of-town family should expect.
- Life after. Our married student's guide covers the name change, financial aid, insurance and married student wards.
The short version
Come home, get settled, go to your ward and institute, talk to your bishop or mentor about the goals you already wrote down, and date at the pace that fits your plan. The Church's own guidance asks for good character, faith and patience, not a deadline.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is there a rule about how soon to date after a mission?
What ward will I be in when I get back to Provo?
What is the 'My Plan' mentor?
How long are missions, and how old are returned missionaries?
What does the Church teach about dating?
I came home early from my mission. Does that change anything?
Where do returned missionaries meet people in Provo?
What paperwork comes with getting engaged in Utah County?
Sources
The facts in this guide were checked against these sources. Hours, fees and rules change, so confirm anything time-sensitive with the source before you go. How we make Provo.com.
- Age-Range Adjustments for Young Single Adults and Single Adults (letter, July 18, 2024), The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Checked October 20, 2026.
- Church announces age adjustments for young adults, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints Newsroom. Checked October 20, 2026.
- General Handbook, chapter 14: Single Members, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Checked October 20, 2026.
- My Plan: A Guide for the Returned Missionary and Mentor, 'To the Mentor', The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Checked October 20, 2026.
- My Plan: 'Working with Your Mentor', The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Checked October 20, 2026.
- Dating (Topics and Questions, 2025), The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Checked October 20, 2026.
- Missionaries Who Return Home Early (Counseling Resources), The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Checked October 20, 2026.
- Young women may begin missionary service at age 18, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints Newsroom. Checked October 20, 2026.
- LDS mission age lowered for men to 18, women to 19, Herald Journal. Checked October 20, 2026.
