Dating in Utah Valley as a Non-Member: A Practical Guide

Living October 20, 2026 11 min read ✓ Updated October 20, 2026

JoAnn Giordano Editor-in-Chief, Provo.com How we make Provo.com

If you are not a Latter-day Saint and you live, study or work in Utah Valley, you will date members, be asked out by members, or wonder whether it is worth trying. It is. Members and non-members date each other here all the time. What helps is understanding a few standards your date may be keeping, so that you are not surprised on the second date or the twentieth, and so your date is not left explaining everything from scratch.

This page is practical, not doctrinal, and it is written with respect for both of you. Members are individuals. Some keep every standard below; some are working out their own relationship with their faith; some are not active at all. Ask your date. Do not assume. For the broader culture, our guide to dating in Provo has a short section for non-members; this page goes further.

The standards your date may be keeping

These come from the Church's own topic pages. Knowing them saves both of you awkward guesses.

The law of chastity. The Church teaches that "all sexual relations outside of marriage between a man and a woman break the law of chastity." For a member who keeps it, sex waits for marriage. It is a commitment they made, not a reflection on you.

The Word of Wisdom. The Church's topic page lists "alcoholic drinks," "tobacco," and "tea and coffee" as substances the Lord revealed are harmful, and adds that prophets have taught members to avoid vaping, misuse of prescription drugs and recreational marijuana. In practice: your date will likely order something other than coffee or a cocktail, and a date built around drinks will not work.

Sunday. Many members keep Sunday for church and family. Expect Sunday plans to start after church, if at all.

None of these require anything of you. They do shape where you go, what you order and how fast a relationship moves physically. A member who keeps them will be grateful you already know.

If your date is a BYU student

BYU adds a layer that applies to every student, member or not. The Church Educational System Honor Code "applies to all members of the university community," and each person commits to:

"Maintain an Ecclesiastical Endorsement."
"Live a chaste and virtuous life, including abstaining from sexual relations outside marriage between a man and a woman." The code adds that this "also includes abstaining from same-sex romantic behavior."
"Abstain from alcoholic beverages, tobacco, tea, coffee, vaping, marijuana, and other substance abuse."
"Participate regularly in Church services."

A BYU student's enrollment depends on these commitments, so a date that pushes against them is asking them to risk school. If you are a non-member BYU student yourself, the same code applies to you. The Honor Code is a policy of the Church's schools; it does not govern students at UVU.

The first date: where and what

The best first dates across faith lines are public, daytime, cheap, and not built around alcohol. Some that work in Provo and Orem:

The BYU Museum of Art is free and open late on Monday, Thursday and Friday (until 9 p.m.).
The Provo Farmers Market sets up on Saturdays in season at 500 W. Center St.
A coffee shop where both of you can order. Downtown Provo has independent shops, including Incidental Coffee Roasters (27 N. 100 West), Java Junkie (16 W. Center St.), Peace on Earth Coffee (35 N. 300 West), Rugged Grounds (397 E. 200 North) and Moon Peak Coffeehouse (50 E. 500 North). Your date can get hot chocolate, a steamer or a pastry.
A dinner with live music. The Social (65 N. University Ave., downstairs) is a restaurant with an underground room; ask about the alcohol-free drink menu.

Our date ideas in Provo and cheap date ideas pages have dozens more, and most of them happen to work for any two people.

If you drink. Bars exist; Google lists A Beuford Giffords Libation Emporium on Center Street downtown, with pool tables and live music. If you are driving afterward, know that Utah Code 41-6a-502 makes .05 the blood or breath alcohol threshold for DUI; our Utah DUI guide explains what that means. And do not make a member's first date with you the night you choose a bar.

On Sunday, many local restaurants close. Our list of restaurants open on Sunday in Provo helps.

The conversations that come later

If the relationship lasts, three conversations come up. Better to know they are coming.

Church

Your date may invite you to a Sunday service. You can go once without it meaning anything more than curiosity. The Church's newsroom says Latter-day Saints "welcome all visitors," that sacrament meeting is "approximately hour-long" within a two-hour block, that visitors "may simply sit back and enjoy the service," and that "there is no collection plate." It may also help to know that a member's family may hope you will be interested in the Church. That hope is sincere; you can say no kindly and mean it.

If you have a faith of your own, it matters just as much. Our guide to faith communities in Provo lists congregations across traditions, and a date who visits yours is showing the same respect.

Marriage, and the temple

This is the conversation that most often decides whether a member and a non-member stay together, so it helps to know the facts before you have it.

Many members hope to marry in a temple. The General Handbook says Church leaders "encourage members to prepare to be married and sealed in a temple."
A temple sealing requires both spouses to be endowed members with temple recommends. A member and a non-member cannot be sealed.
They can marry civilly. A bishop can perform a civil marriage, and a courthouse, venue or other faith's clergy can too. Our civil and non-temple weddings guide covers every option.
Sealing later is possible if both are members. The Handbook says a civilly married couple may be sealed "as soon as circumstances permit" if both "have been members of the Church for at least one year" and are prepared.
A member can still attend the temple. A member whose spouse is unendowed may receive their own endowment if the spouse consents and the member's leaders are confident it "will not be a disruption to the marriage," whether the spouse is a member or not.

None of that is a reason to stop dating. It is a reason to talk openly, early enough that neither of you plans a future on an assumption.

Family

In Utah Valley, a member's family may be large, close and involved. A family dinner may open with a blessing on the food. Bowing your head and waiting is all that is needed, and if you are ever asked to pray and would rather not, a polite "I'd rather listen this time" is fine. If you are ever at a temple wedding as a guest, our guide to temple weddings for guests explains why you will wait outside and why that is not personal.

Where to meet people who are open to it

Apps with a religion field. Hinge's App Store listing says profiles show religion and dating intentions, so you can see where someone stands. Mutual, the app built for Latter-day Saints, says on its listing that "anyone can join Mutual as long as they uphold our high standards."
Work, classes and clubs. UVU, workplaces, climbing gyms, running groups and rec leagues mix members and non-members by default.
Downtown Provo. Center Street and the surrounding blocks hold several independent coffee shops and late-night options.

A few words for the member reading this

If you are a Latter-day Saint dating someone outside your faith, the same respect runs the other way. Tell them early what you keep and why, ask what matters to them, and do not treat a date as a missionary appointment. The relationships that work here are the ones where both people feel known.

Frequently Asked Questions

Can you date a Latter-day Saint if you are not a member?

Yes. Many people in Utah Valley do. What helps is knowing the standards your date may be keeping, such as the Church's law of chastity, which teaches that sexual relations belong only within marriage between a man and a woman, and the Word of Wisdom, which asks members to avoid alcohol, tobacco, tea and coffee. Ask your date what they keep, rather than assuming.

Do BYU students have to follow dating rules?

BYU's Church Educational System Honor Code applies to all members of the campus community, including students who are not Latter-day Saints. Among its commitments are living a chaste life, including abstaining from sexual relations outside marriage between a man and a woman; abstaining from alcohol, tobacco, tea, coffee, vaping and marijuana; and maintaining an ecclesiastical endorsement.

Can I have coffee on a date with a member?

You can drink coffee; your date may not. The Church's Word of Wisdom lists tea and coffee among substances to avoid, so a coffee shop date works if there is something on the menu for both of you, such as hot chocolate, a steamer or a pastry. Provo has several independent coffee shops downtown.

Can a non-member attend church with a date?

Yes. The Church's newsroom says Latter-day Saints welcome all visitors, that sacrament meeting runs about an hour in a two-hour block, that visitors may simply sit and listen, and that there is no collection plate. Going once is a way to understand your date's week; it does not commit you to anything.

Can a member marry a non-member in the temple?

No. A temple sealing requires both people to be endowed members with temple recommends, according to the General Handbook. A member and a non-member can marry civilly, including in a ceremony performed by a bishop. If the non-member spouse later joins the Church, the couple may be sealed once both have been members for at least a year and are prepared.

Can a member be endowed if their spouse is not a member?

Yes, with conditions. The General Handbook says a worthy member whose spouse is unendowed may receive the endowment if the spouse gives consent and the member, bishop and stake president are confident the temple covenants will not disrupt the marriage. The rule applies whether the spouse is a member or not.

Are there bars in Provo?

A few. Google Maps lists bars including A Beuford Giffords Libation Emporium on Center Street in downtown Provo, and restaurants such as The Social, downstairs on University Avenue, that host live music. If you drink, remember that Utah law sets the DUI threshold at a blood or breath alcohol concentration of .05.

What is the best first date with someone of a different faith in Provo?

Something public, daytime and not built around alcohol, where conversation is easy: a walk through the free BYU Museum of Art, a Saturday at the Provo Farmers Market, or a coffee shop with a menu that works for both of you. Save the big conversations about faith for when you know whether there is a reason to have them.

Sources

The facts in this guide were checked against these sources. Hours, fees and rules change, so confirm anything time-sensitive with the source before you go. How we make Provo.com.

Utah Code 41-6a-502: Driving under the influence, Utah State Legislature. Checked October 19, 2026.
Gospel Topics: Chastity, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Checked October 19, 2026.
Gospel Topics: Word of Wisdom, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Checked October 19, 2026.
Church Educational System Honor Code, Brigham Young University. Checked October 19, 2026.
What to Expect at Church Services, Newsroom, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Checked October 19, 2026.
General Handbook, 27: Temple Ordinances for the Living (27.2.1.2, 27.3), The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Checked October 19, 2026.
General Handbook, 38: Church Policies and Guidelines (38.4.1.1), The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Checked October 19, 2026.
BYU Museum of Art: hours and admission, Brigham Young University Museum of Art. Checked October 19, 2026.
Hinge Dating App (App Store listing), Apple App Store. Checked October 19, 2026.
Mutual LDS Dating (App Store listing), Apple App Store. Checked October 19, 2026.
Google Places listings: downtown Provo coffee shops, bars and restaurants; Provo Farmers Market (October 2026), Google Maps. Checked October 19, 2026.

JoAnn Giordano

Editor-in-Chief

JoAnn Giordano is the editor-in-chief of Provo.com. Having lived in and around Utah Valley for years, she leads the site's editorial direction with a focus on the comprehensive, honest local coverage that helps residents, students, and newcomers feel at home. When she's not shaping Provo.com's restaurant and neighborhood coverage, she's exploring the valley's trails and tracking down the best new spots on Center Street.

Dating in Utah Valley as a Non-Member: The Standards Your Date May Be Keeping, What They Mean for a First Date and a Future, and Where to Go